


I Sit with an Empty Soul

by rinnwrites



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Handwave-y Space Travel, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 16:13:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14674722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinnwrites/pseuds/rinnwrites
Summary: Tony's not done counting his losses, not until he returns home.





	I Sit with an Empty Soul

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by some of mrsgingles/alicja's gorgeous art, [check it out on her tumblr here!](http://mrsgingles.tumblr.com/post/173682573075/youre-alive)

Tony’s in shock. His vision blurs with...tears? Is he crying? A glance down at his hands shows bits of ash stuck to the blood on his hands and he wipes them frantically, futilely against the fabric of his tracksuit, only stopping when he registers a tug on his shoulder. The cyborg, Nebula? Is speaking to him, trying to shake him out of his trance. 

“...back here, but we should still go.” She looked uneasy here on this carcass of a planet, and he didn’t blame her, the sight of it made bile rise in his throat and images, horrible images, of earth, his earth, in this wrecked state crashed into his mind.

“Earth, I have to get back to earth. M-my...friends.” The word was weak, inaccurate. He cared about his friends, Rhodey, Pepper, Bruce. But his  _ lovers _ were his real concern, and his head spun in fear, in the pain of not knowing. Even as he managed to struggle to his feet, he faltered, his sole remaining companion catching him by the arm and dragging him towards a small ship.

She seemed cold, calculating, mechanical. Tony didn’t mind, perhaps stoicism was needed right now. Someone had to keep it together. It seemed that Nebula could, at least well enough to start up her ship and navigate them away from Titan, back towards earth. 

Tony absently wondered how much of her was machine and how much was...whatever  humanoid race, considered the inner workings of her parts, and that kept him from falling apart, it kept his brain from going a million miles a minute with much, much darker thoughts. He didn’t have a lot of self-preservation instinct, but he would pull himself together, keep himself from spiraling long enough to get back home. Back to Bucky and Steve. 

“Sensors are reading a massive disturbance in the atmosphere, just there.” Tony’s head perked up, and a flash of awe shot through his muddled thoughts as he saw Earth, looking serene and bright in the blackness of space. How had they gotten here so quickly? How long had he been lost in his own mind?

“Go there.” He urged, moving from where he’d been huddled in the back of the spacious cockpit to stand by Nebula’s side where she pointed at a screen showing scans of the planet with a dark discoloration….right over Wakanda, and most certainly not a coincidence. 

The next thing he knew they were landing in a war-torn battlefield, the signs of a desperate struggle all around him, but the fighting had clearly ended, the field almost empty of souls. He stepped out of the ship and gazed around him, his fragile composure threatening to splinter at the devastation, and the bodies. 

“Tony!” the frantic voice from behind him came like a flood of warmth over his whole body, and as Tony turned, he saw Steve there, dirty and battered, but very much alive, and his legs gave out. He sank to his knees right there in the dirt as a sob of relief wracked his body, tugging painfully at the wound in his side. 

In the next moment Steve was in front of him, a hand cupping his neck, pressing their foreheads together and they shared a shuttery breath. 

“You’re okay. You’re still here.” Tony breathed, placing a hand over the black star on his lover’s chest to reassure himself before opening his eyes, damp brown meeting blue that shined with a mixture of relief and pain and he could see the answer to his unasked question before his mouth could form it. “Where is he?”

Steve’s eyes welled with tears and a stab of pain went through Tony’s chest. 

“Steve where is Bucky? Tell me, please.” his lip wobbled and he grasped desperately at Steve’s wrist, “Where is he?” he moaned again, the agony already pressing in. 

“Tony he….” Steve couldn’t bring himself to even say the words, Tony’s mournful cry ringing in his ears - he knew in an instant he’d never forget that sound. 

Unable to find his voice, Steve raised a trembling hand, flecks of ash still stuck to the clammy skin. 

It was more than enough for Tony to understand and he fell forward pressing his face into Steve’s chest, no longer able to keep himself from crumbling under the weight of his loss. 


End file.
